


that sucks, dude

by bonniebubblegum



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, is it even my story if everyone's fully clothed?, there's no smut but don't worry Nico's still shirtless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 06:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonniebubblegum/pseuds/bonniebubblegum
Summary: Nico loses a patient. Levi's not sure what to do.





	that sucks, dude

“Hey,” Schmitt said. He looked around the entrance to Nico’s apartment, his hand still on the doorknob. “The door was unlocked. You here?”

There was no response, and Schmitt wondered vaguely if he was early. They were supposed to hang out that night, nothing special. He’d thought he might finally show Nico some sixties Star Trek. He stepped into the living room. Nico’s sneakers were abandoned in the hallway, one half-caught under the couch where it had been kicked off, the other outside the bathroom door. There was a browning splotch on the toe, a color Levi recognized. It made his stomach churn. Dried blood.

He knew Nico’d had the Velasquez surgery today. Knew it hadn’t gone well. He hadn’t given it much thought before. Lots of surgeries didn’t go well.

“Nico?”

The kitchen was empty too. The bathroom. Levi stood outside the bedroom door and swallowed, his throat chalky. He opened it a crack. It was dark inside the room, and the light of the hallway fell harsh on Nico’s floor. His scrub bottoms were heaped at the foot of the bed. He hadn’t changed before he left the hospital. Bad sign. Levi slid inside.

“Hey,” he said.

On the bed, Nico grunted. He lay facing away from the door, half-under his crumpled comforter. He didn’t look at Levi.

“Bad day?” Levi said.

Grunt.

Levi shifted. He was so stupid. _Bad day_ , like he couldn’t tell from Nico’s tensed back. Without his scrub top, Levi could see every clenched shoulder muscle. Nico wasn’t so much covered by his blanket as he was clutching it, curled around it. Levi could imagine his hands, white-knuckled.

“Should I go?” he said. “I mean, I don’t have to, but I can leave, if you — do you want me to go?”

Nico looked back, over his shoulder. His eyes were red-rimmed, his skin blotchy. “Dude,” he said, and there was something like anger in his sandpaper voice. Levi’d never seen Nico angry.

He’d never seen him this sad, either. Nico could make Levi’s breath clog in his throat, turn him even klutzier, erase everything but his want. Levi just wanted to make him feel okay.

He toed off his sneakers. Unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down his legs, so he stood in socked feet, boxers, and a t-shirt. He felt silly, a chicken plucked of its feathers, laid bare, but he stepped forward. He climbed onto the bed.

The sheets between them were sky blue. He reached to rub Nico’s arm. Nico eased into the touch, just a little, and Levi slid forward. Felt like he was crossing the Delaware as he pressed his chest to Nico’s back. He wrapped an arm around him, his hand coming to rest over Nico’s.  Nico exhaled, heavy. And then he looked back.

There was a look in his eyes, so intense it hurt, like staring straight into the sun. Levi had seen it before. When he was on his knees in front of Nico or half-asleep at the breakfast table, his hair all mussed and his breath smelly, he saw it. It was want, need. Nico _needed_ him. Levi didn’t know what to do. He could barely keep himself together most days.

But he pushed closer, one arm sliding under Nico, the other curling around to meet it. He squeezed. Like a child with a teddy bear, he clutched Nico. Held him, half dressed, his cheek resting against the back of his neck. They breathed.

He’d known that Nico liked Belia Velasquez. She was 17, sarcastic, with a neon blue buzzcut and an ever-changing stack of horror DVDs on her nightstand. Levi’d only met her once, during rounds. She was watching Saw V on her shitty hospital TV. Levi tried to pay attention to Link’s spiel about the case, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off the blood splatter. He paled. His belly churned, his stomach acid whipping into a froth. Across the bed, Nico was watching him.

“Hey,” he said. “Belia, you gotta watch this crap right now?”

“Why, you scared?” Belia grinned at him.

“Bored, actually,” Nico said. “I didn’t peg you as a C-movie sequel fan.”

“I know you didn’t just insult the Saw franchise.”

Someone on screen was getting decapitated. Levi couldn’t stop his shudder. It rolled through him, half twitch, and he dropped his chart. Qadri stifled a laugh. Taryn didn’t bother to stop herself, practically snorting. Belia turned towards them.

“Aw,” she said. “Poor baby.”

It was decidedly not a compliment. Levi scrambled to grab the paperwork. He could hear footsteps.

Nico clicked off the TV. When he lowered his arm, his fingers skimmed Levi’s wrist. He kept them there, warm.

“Hey,” Belia said. “I was watching that.”

“Later,” Nico said. “C’mon, man. Just ten minutes.”

“Uh-huh.” Belia looked at Nico, and then her eyes dropped. She stared at the point where his hand touched Levi’s. She grinned. “I see how it is.” Nico’d rolled his eyes, and Link had assigned Parker to the case, and Levi hadn’t really thought about it again. Until now.

He could feel Nico speak before he heard it — the thick swallow, the shifting jaw.

“She died,” he said.

Levi blinked. “I know.”

“She wasn’t supposed to.” Nico’s words were muffled by the pillow, and Levi leaned closer, his breath ruffling Nico’s hair.

“Uh…” His arm was starting to fall asleep under him. He was usually the little spoon. “Is anyone supposed to die?”

He always said the wrong thing. He swallowed. Tried again.

“You know,” he said, and as he spoke, his breath fanned across Nico’s back, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “After CeCe died, when Helm was all devastated, everyone kept saying _it’ll get easier._ All the nurses and the doctors and the teachers. And I remember, because I kind of thought that was crap, I thought — how can death get better, y’know? Who even wants it to?”

Nico was still. Levi pressed on.

“But you — I remember what you said to her, after, when we were walking out together. You said _that sucks, dude.”_

Levi could practically feel Nico rolling his eyes. “Are you just trying to prove you’re not the only one who’s bad at being comforting?”

“No, no, I—“ Levi stopped. _Bad at comforting_ ? He’d deal with that later. “I liked it. Liked that you said _that sucks, dude,_ and Helm said _yeah,_ and then you didn’t say anything else. You didn’t try to tell her about the next patient, or the next lesson, or anything. You just… you knew that it sucked, and you knew that it would _still_ suck, in five days or five months or whatever, and I liked that. I respected it.”

“So?”

“So,” Levi said, and he nuzzled into Nico’s shoulder. He held him tighter. “I heard Belia died. That sucks.”

“Yeah,” Nico said. He closed his eyes. “It really does.”

**Author's Note:**

> I made a schmico tumblr! find me @schmittsglasses


End file.
